


A group of idiots. In love.

by Darth_Rainbow_Queen_Of_Coconuts



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy - Cassandra Clare, The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Slow burns everywhere, That one Royalty au nobody asked for, all over the place, my mess so sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-10-10 03:41:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17418404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darth_Rainbow_Queen_Of_Coconuts/pseuds/Darth_Rainbow_Queen_Of_Coconuts
Summary: If there was one constant in Simon's life, it was Jace. But Jace was an idiot sometimes. And so was Simon. That's basically what George spent his time talking about when he complained to Raphael. But George was an idiot too according to Magnus...OR, that Royalty AU where everybody keeps messing up their chance at happiness because too afraid to take that one risk that could change their lives.





	1. Idiocy

Simon looked at himself in the large mirror as he shrugged his vest on, unsure of how the day would go. He was supposed to meet his wife today, the great Clarissa Fairchild, daughter of the Duke of Orkney, and fairer than any rose he ever landed an eye on, or so he'd been told.

 

"Don't you look dashing..." Simon chuckled at the familiar voice interrupting his thoughts, he turned to face the soldier. "Well, well, well..." He grinned. "You're looking fancy too, Jonathan." Jace rolled his eyes. "It's Jonathan Christopher, my King." He corrected. Simon's jaw clenched for a second at the thought of his late father. "I'm still the Prince Jace. Not married yet." The brunet swallowed thickly. Jace sighed a bit, growing closer to him. "Simon, there's something I should tell you...." The hint of sadness in the blond's eyes made a certain apprehension grow in the pit of the other male's stomach. "What is it ? Jace, you know you can tell me anything, I trust you more than anyone...." The soldier smiled a little. "I..." He inhaled deeply. "I'm being transferred. Tomorrow. To Grimsby..." Simon's eyes widened as he blinked away what could've become tears. "What ? No, it's not possible, I would've been informed, you can't... You can't leave Saint Ives, Jace. You can't leave me... You're my best friend..." The blond cleared his throat, looking away. "It's not that far. And I asked to be transferred. Your mother opposed until I told her why..." He sought back for his best friend's dark orbs. "When I told her that I couldn't watch you marry someone else, she understood and she agreed to let me be the one announcing it to you...." Simon blinked a few times before his eyes fell shut. "You're such an idiot Jace. Such an idiot." He repeated before walking past the blond to get to the door. Jace caught up with him, reaching out for his wrist. "What does that mean ? I, I tell you that I, that I," Simon glared at him, jaw clenched. "That you ? That you love me ? Can't you see that I feel the exact same way ?" He asked, sounding more wounded than angry before inhaling deeply. "You do ?" Jace asked, obtaining nods for only response. "Oh, Simon, I...." the Prince shook his head. "You, nothing, Jace. Congratulations on your affectation. If you'll excuse me, I'm supposed to go meet my wife. So I bid you farewell." He added , apathetically before walking out of the room. Jace ran his hands through his hair, tugging at the extremities before following out, knowing he was expected to stand with the rest of the decorated soldiers when the duchess and future Queen would arrive.

 

Simon went to stand beside his mother, tugging on the collar of a shirt he found way too tight. "Stop it." Elaine, his mother intervened. Rebecca chuckled and winked at her brother before going to stand with her husband in the crowd. He was a stable boy name Eric, lovely man. At least that's what Simon thought. Trumpets loudly announced the arrival of 'lady Clarissa Adele Morgenstern  of the Duchy of Fairchild' escorted by her brother 'Sebastian Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern of the Duchy of Fairchild' followed by her ladies 'Lydia of the Duchy of Branwell, Lady Isabelle Sophia Lightwood and her wife's new husband's adopted stray, Maia Roberts.' By the times all the names had been announced, Jace had rolled his eyes so often than it had earned him a smack in the back of the head by Raphael Santiago, one of the officer and a fellow friend of Simon. That made George, a fellow soldier and one of Simon's appointed advisor because particularly close friend with an actual knowledge of the etiquette, snort before trying to hide his laugh in a coughing fit. Raphael grinned at George. Grinned. How the hell did George manage to do that ? Jace knew he, would've gotten smacked again.

 

"You're..." Simon paused, drinking in the redhead with a porcelain skin standing right in front of him. She giggled. "I didn't even knew it was possible for my son to get at loss of words." Elaine intervened, happily clasping her hands together. "Clary we are delighted to have you here, how have you grown." Clary chuckled. "It's been a while since I was five, indeed. The nuns at the covent would argue that I am still pretty childish though..." Simon chuckled. "It's good to see you so..." He slightly shook his head. "Well." A smile. "And beautiful." They both smiled. "It's good to see you too Simon. You too have... Grown." They shared a laugh. Simon bit his bottom lip before holding out a hand for her to take. She inhaled deeply before taking it, grinning as he kissed her knuckles. "Ready for this ?" He asked, waiting for her to nod before they both spun on their heels, holding hands and lifting them in the air. The crowd erupted in cheers and applause. Except for one person who had their eyes anchored in Simon's as he slowly, ironically, clapped at the sham. Simon made a show to smile as bright as he could, not letting Jace have any power over him yet being unable to look away.


	2. Goodbyes

Clary entered her bedroom late night, finding all her friends in their night attire but particularly awake. "So how was it ?! Did you two kiss ?!" Isabelle eagerly asked. The redhead chuckled. "We went for a walk not a hot make out session." Maia snorted. "Could've doubted it since you went for that 'walk' four hours ago. The gardens aren't that big..." Clary giggled. "It's not like that. We just sat on a bench and talked. Genuinely. Simon's really nice. And incredibly caring. His heart is full of love to give." She pulled a face for a few seconds before blinking it away. "It's just very sudden to marry someone you hadn't seen since you were five..."

"So how was it ?" George asked, as Simon sneaked in the soldiers quarters. "Did you score already, Lewisham ?" An older soldier, Aldertree asked. Simon rolled his eyes, seeking for Jace. "Your lover hasn't returned from his own 'walk' with Peggy, one of the servants." Simon sighed, used to Jace's antics but still disappointed. "She's really nice. And beautiful. And her laugh is so perfect." He smiled. "She's... Genuine. Caring. Driven. And talented and clever..." George chuckled. "Seems like a good match then." Simon's smile faded a bit. "Yes, indeed. It's just very sudden to marry someone you hadn't seen since you were five..."

"I'm sorry Peggy..." The servant huffed. "Three times Jonathan..." She spoke through gritted teeth as she laced the front of her dress. "Three times that you come seeking for me, promising me a good time and giving me nothing. Am I ugly ? Am I not enough ? Am I ?" She shook her head. "No, it's completely on you, I won't let a man's inability to get it on feed my insecurities. You came seeking for me, so it's not my fault but yours." She stood up, smoothing her skirt. "Whatever it is you're going through Jace, fix it. So you can focus on something else." The blond sighed, knowing she was right. He got properly dressed as well and left the barn, heading back to the castle.

Eager steps led the determined blond to the only room he knew better than his own, Simon's. Banging loudly, he waited for his best friend to open. "We only have one night. One night and I'm gone. Do you want to be mad at me Simon, or make the most of it ? Your choice ?" Simon's jaw clenched. Like it would a lot since his father's death. The audacity of that man... "What happened to Peggy ?" He spat out, with a certain anger. "She left very frustrated because I didn't want her. I couldn't stop thinking about someone else. You." Simon sighed deeply. "You're gonna be the death of me, Jace..." "And you of me." The blond answered before stepping inside the room, closer to Simon. The Prince lunged forward, crashing his lips on top of the blond's with the desperation of someone drinking all the water drops left in the bottle while lost in the Sahara. If it was bound to be short, might as well make the most of it. He tugged on the blond's shirt, mercilessly ripping it with a strength he didn't knew he possessed. While Simon was sloppy, eager, with his hands going everywhere and his nails digging into a skin he wished to leave a lasting mark on, Jace was more organized, focused, touching zones he knew would elicit the loudest moans and groans of pleasure, proud of being so capable to make Simon unravel before him. Breathless 'I love you's were secretly whispered before mouths moulded together as if the two were supposed to only be one entity. And so the night passed, Jace woke up at dawn and left before Simon could even try to stop him, leaving him only with memories and marks that were bound to fade away. 

Arriving on the small island of Grimsby, Jace was greeted by Alexander Lightwood, a fellow soldier emeritus who told him to call him Alec. Jace gladly obeyed to the broody tall male, claiming it was the beginning of a great friendship and an even greater adventure.

Simon did not show up at breakfast, so breakfast cale to him. "George, for the love of all that is holy, leave me alone !" He yelled, from his bed. A frowning blond peered in. But the hair was far brighter than George's golden. "Huh... Sorry what ?" The male asked before clearing his throat. "Your mom wanted to send someone to get you food, I wanted to get out of the dining hall..." He awkwardly explained before putting the tray on a bedside table. "So there." Simon's face flushed with embarrassment. "I'm so sorry Ss... Jj..." A chuckle from the other male. "Sebastian." He provided. "It's fine. I guess you're having a tough day." He shrugged. "We all have those." Simon silently nodded. "I'll take my leave now." Simon shrugged at the words. "You don't have to. My chambers are probably large enough for me to bemoan in a corner while you hide in another." He answered, grinning a bit. The blond chuckled. "I would stay if I could but... I hardly believe it's a wise choice for you. I don't have much of a reputation left to preserve but you do. You're innocent." He grinned as Simon pouted. "You can't argue that you're not innocent with that expression I'm afraid. Goodbye, Simon." He added before walking out.


	3. Wrong Persons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is honestly a mess to force myself to write. I'm so sorry ;-;

"Simon really is, quite pretty." Isabelle said, looking at the prince from afar as he entered the library. Rolling her eyes, Lydia reached out for another book. "He's not right for Lady Clarissa." The blond answered, opening a large book. "And who is, pray tell, worthy of our dear Clary ?" Isabelle asked, irony laced with inconspicuousness. "I don't know." Lydia answered, a certain boredom in her voice. "But certainly not someone who's heart belong to someone else..." She mumbled before closing the book with a sigh and putting it back. "Let's try another alley..." Isabelle rolled her eyes but trailed behind her friend, glad she'd managed to skip the embroidery hour.

 

Simon had came to the library to meet up with Sebastian. Only place in the whole castle they ever found themselves truly alone. It wasn't Simon's choice though. He didn't care for what people could possibly think by seeing him with the son of a repudiated traitor. But the blond seemed to care about his reputation. In a way, Sebastian reminded him of Jace. They were both particularly similar and polar opposites. While Jace was warmth and a lazy sort of calmness like a sluggish day under the scorching sun, Sebastian was cold yet inviting, like a white forest at the heart of winter. "You're late."The blond spoke as Simon sat across from him. Simon rolled his eyes. "Even if I was half a hour early, you'd eagerly tell me I'm late..." The taller male snorted. "Guilty as charge my King." "Prince." Simon corrected, tensing as his smile dimmed. The loss of his father was still fresh in his mind and with the title came memories he wished not to loose. "My apologies Simon." Sebastian cleared his throat, shifting position to cover Simon's hands with his legs, throwing them over the table. Blinking a few times, Simon couldn't help but glance at the old man in charge of registering each book. "Dudley is going to hate you." He told Sebastian, unable to hide his grin. The bolder male rolled his eyes. "Poor chap will have to add his name to a long, long, list I'm afraid." "You're mad, Sebastian." The blond grinned. "Wickedly so, my Prince. Are you afraid ?" Simon lowered his head, eyes falling shut as he smiled before withdrawing his hands and running them through his hair. "A little sometimes. But not quite of you. More for you." He answered. Valentine's son laughed, a little off-key. "Don't bother Simon, I'm really not worth it. I've been told so enough times to know it's true." Simon frowned. "That is a blatant lie. Nobody else but yourself has the right to decide what you're worth. Some people may influence the way you perceive yourself, but make sure that at the end of the day, you like what you've done with yourself." "Wise words." Simon smiled. "My father's..." Sebastian's turn to grow more tense. Removing his legs from the table, he nestled back into his chair and brought a leg up, resting his head on his knee and wrapping his hands around said leg. "What is it like... To have a loving father ?" He asked, a low murmur from a friend sharing a secret to another. Simon drew in a breath before he simply started to retell memories time had embellished. And Sebastian listened. That's what they did. One would talk and the other would listen. Nothing else. Nothing more. No questions asked later and nobody to retell the encounters to. Just them. And secrecy.

 

•••

 

"So Maia," Elaine paused. "You're the adoptive daughter of Lady Jocelyn's new husband, is that so ?" The female silently nodded, before glancing back at her piece of craft. It looked nothing like the others. It wasn't pleasing and delicate. It was sharp and hasty despite the fact that she was trying to take her time. Clearly, compared to the rest of the ladies in the room, she was untrained... Clary shot her a compassionate smile. It made the aftertaste in her mouth a little less sour. "Is he a good man ? Your father ?" She asked. Clary jumped on the occasion. "Viscount Lucian is a great man. Kind. Understanding. Wise. He would've been a friend of your husband, I'm sure." She boldly spoke, making Elaine sputter a little before nodding. "Great men do tend to like each other. And Viscount Graymark, sounds like a great man. But you know what they say, they're all good men before something happens to them. Some of them stay good, no matter how they're treated and others shows the darkness hidden within. I surely hope for your mother that it won't be the latter." Maia's jaw clenched but she remained silent. "I know so." Clary answered with her most innocent smile.

 

•••

 

Raphael frowned at the sight of George escorting two ladies. Tilting his head to the side, he gave the order for someone to replace him before making his way toward them, hand on the hilt of his sword. "Of all the people I would've expected to flirt on their shift George, you are the most surprising choice..." The dark haired male spoke with a tone far colder than the one he usually used with the blond. Within a span of a few seconds, George was a blushing mess. "He was not flirting." Lydia intervened, frowning. "Indeed, he wasn't. He was showing us the way to the small tea room. After the embroidery session we're supposed to do the reading there..." Isabelle intervened, pushing forward a large book she'd been hugging against her chest. "Ah." Raphael visibly grew uncomfortable. "I'm sorry. I... Misread the situation." Isabelle rose an amused brow but remained silent. A lady must keep gossip behind closed doors. George blushed even more. "It's-ss-ss fine." The blond soldier dragged out, unable to look at his officer in the eyes. "Oh my ! Lydia ! I know exactly where we are!" Isabelle spoke. "Come on !" She linked arm with the other female, leading her away.

 

"You have no idea where we are, do you ?" Lydia asked, as soon as they no longer were within earshot. Izzy giggled. "None. But even if we arrive late, it's a win in the end. Reading sessions are a bore." Lydia pouted. "Oh come on, you only like it because you're the one reading..." The blond smiled, just a little. Barely visible. "Maybe..." The brunette chuckled andon her friend's arm again, the two getting lost further in unknown corridors.

 

•••

 

"What brings you here ?" Alec asked, narrowing his eyes as he watched Jace look down at their dinner with boredom and a little bit of curiosity. "What do you mean ?" The blond asked, looking up. "You're more decorated than the person giving us both orders." The soldier expectantly deadpanned. "Obviously you didn't come here for the food..." Jace sighed. "Ugh. Love." The taller male rolled his eyes. "You deducedthat from a sigh ?" Alec snorted. "No, I just know that look. The longing in one's eyes. But riddle me this : If you love them, why did you leave them in the first place ?" Exposed like that, it seemed far simpler than it actually was. "I didn't knew there was reciprocity until it was too late." Jace tried to explain. Alec nodded, not pushing it further. He wasn't one to pry. "What brings you here ?" The blond asked. "Because I noticed that you might not be as decorated as Officer Starkweather but you're probably ten times brighter..." Alec shrugged. "Money's good. We need it. My father left my mother with my sister, my little brother and I. We couldn't afford to be idle anymore. My sister, Izzy, she got lucky though. She became a laundress and befriended one of the ladies of the castle she was working at, turns out the lady was the daughter of the owner, Duchess Clarissa Fairchild." Jace grinded his teeth. "What ?" Alec asked, noticing the sudden change of attitude. "If I tell you, you have to promise not to repeat it..." The brunet looked around. "We're surrounded by idiots I wouldn't even trust to properly give me the time. Except for Raj, but he's a douche." Jace chuckled. "I guess I just... Fell in love with the wrong person..."

 


	4. It almost tastes the same

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reflections on the past and acceptance of a plausible future ? No. Let's dwell on the past and pretend there's no tomorrow.

"Simon." He paused, upon hearing the voice of his mother. Slowly pivoting on himself to face her, the male forced an inconspicuous look on his face. There was, after all, no reason to be guilty about going to the library. "I am worried for you." Elaine spoke, forlornly as she grew close enough to her son to carefully cradle his left cheek. "I know how much you loved your father, I lost him too and I just wish you'd talk to me instead of drowning yourself in literature." Simon silently nodded, tight-lipped with a gaze lost into the distance. His mother caressed his cheek. "Simon, please, use your words. You have a way around those, learned them early and never stopped talking ever since, please... Do not let silence do the conversation when there are so many stories you could retell..." He frowned upon seeing a glint in her eyes that indicated tears forming. "I..." He paused, exhaling longly. "I won't." The words finally came out. Few but better than silence. Elaine was ready to take what he'd give her. "I must go, Seba-ba-ha-hum, nobody's waiting for me there, obviously..." He chuckled, sounding far more like his old self with this single sentence than he had with all of his conversations since Jace's departure. Elaine smile dotingly and nodded. "Fine, go find yourself another book."

 

•••

 

"So you're telling me you grew alongside with a Prince ?" Jace nodded. "And you fell for him?" Another nod. "And he fell for you ?" The blond sighed before nodding again. Alec shook his head. "Still can't wrap my head around it. Sure you're dashing and muscular but... You kinda channel that twat energy. You really could easily be an arse. And kind of are to most people... How did you get someone so kind to fall for you ?" Jace rolled his eyes. "Simon's different. He seeks for the good in people and brings it out, he takes a chance on lost strays. He gave me a home. A family." He shrugged. "And I guess he must've seen something in me that even I fail to..." Alec nodded before biting on a carrot. "Izzy's like that too. She sees the good and trust people. But you wouldn't be her type, she thinks demons have a thing with blonds..." Jace snorted. "Okay. I must meet your sister." Alec grinned. "You will, some day, eventually."

 

•••

 

"Your highness." A polite nod of the head. "Lowly peasant." Simon answered, making Raphael glare at him while George snickered from the other side of the door where he'd been standing. Normally the two soldiers wouldn't be guarding doors and definitely not the one of the library seen their rank, but Simon could pull some strings. All in the sake of facilitating the way of love. Simon grinned at his blond friend. "Hi George, my friend, worthy soldier, kind man of high rank who has my complete respect..." He glanced at Raphael who was now tightly squinting his eyes. "And who is so much better than Raphael in so many different ways." Simon got elbowed by, surprisingly, George. He gasped, about to speak on it when he noticed the faint blush on his friend's face. "You didn't even try with that one." Raphael spoke before chuckling softly. "See Simon, this is why George is everyone's favorite." The male spoke, his spanish accent making an impromptu visit. It always happened when he spoke without minutely thinking. Simon rolled his eyes, grinning a bit and walked past them to enter the library.

 

Nodding at Dudley, he headed toward the back, frowning when he wasn't met with the sight of Sebastian. Words, however, had been carved in the wooden table the blond would usually put his feet on. Shaking his head, Simon read them. 'Clary needed me. Busy today.' The Prince let out a soft sigh before actually going to pick up a book to do some reading.

 

"Simon?" A feminine voice spoke as he started to doze off on Catullus. Latin Poetry never truly was his thing, more his father's. And he did love to be read to. "Clarissa ?" He frowned. "What about your brother ?" She shrugged. "I haven't seen him in all day, I suspect he is with a maid, busying himself alright..." Simon chuckled a little off-key. Why would the thought of Sebastian fooling around with a maid bother him ? His jaw clenched. It wasn't that. It was the lie. "So, how are you in this fine day, Clarissa ?" He asked, monochord, like he'd been with her for a few days. She frowned and sat across from him. "Alright Si, spill." She spoke fiercely, sounding exactly like her five year old self, his best friend. He smiled. "You don't need to kick anybody's butt into our fountain if that's what you were going at." Clary laughed at the remembrance of the memory. "Well, in my defense the baker's son was an ass. What was his name again ? Henry ? Gregory ? Rory ?" Simon laughed with her. "Dorian, but all the kids used to call him Dory." "RIGHT ! Heavy Hairy Dory ! That used to drive him so mad... Poor chap." Simon snickered. "You came up with that nickname." She grinned proudly. "Oh I know."  He shook his head. "You were such a bad influence..." She giggled. "I wasn't ! You were just... always getting into trouble and I just... I had to protect you. Because I always felt like loosing you would be like loosing an irreplaceable part of myself. You were so good with everyone and I was just afraid, someday you'd no longer need me to fight your battles and you'd simply realize you could do better... Then Jace happened and I just needed to get out of the situation before my fears would come true... And I was in age, so I joined the covent... My mother had been asking me for a year, I kept denying her because you needed me. But with Jace, well, you didn't seem to anymore..." Simon sighed softly, reaching for her hand across the table. He gave it a light squeeze. "I wept for months after you left. It definitely was like loosing a part of me. You were such a huge part of my life. Clary I was good because you always saw the good in me and pushed me to never let the world change me but remain as I was..." He brought her hand to his lips and kissed the palm of it. "You were more than enough. Have always been." She smiled, more shy. "Then why I have you been so cold since I arrived?" Simon's jaw clenched before he sighed softly, choosing to voice his feelings to his best friend. "Because that's the day Jace chose to be transferred to Grimsby." She sighed softly, knowing how overly attached Simon could grow to people. "I'm sorry Simon." He chuckled humorlessly. "He said the same thing the day we entered your chambers to find them empty. With that same look in his eyes." He stood up. "I'll see you around Clary." He added before walking away, leaving the redhead absorbed by her own thoughts.

 

•••

 

"Alexander." Jace's eyes widened at the name used by their officer. Alec's jaw clenched, hands balling into fists. Jace stepped before him, standing between him and Hodge. He held out a hand to shake. "Jonathan Christopher Wayland. Freshly debarked Mr Starkweather." Hodge gingrly shook the hand. "Pleased to meet you." He spoke coldly before walking away. Jace turned back to look at Alec. "Alexander ?" He rose an eyebrow. "Don't you dare call me that." Jace nodded. "What is going on with you and Starkweather though ?" Alec sighed heavily. "He's a friend of my dad, he aided him spend our money and helped him disappear as well. He calls me Alexander each time he hears from my father to remind me that Robert is not as far as I could think. His words." Jace nodded. "And I'm the one you called an arse ? What is he then ?" Alec's lips curled up so slightly that it was easy to miss. Jace didn't though, so he grinned.

 

•••

 

When Simon entered his chambers after dinner, he wasn't expecting to find a half-naked man laying on his bed. He wasn't expecting the half-naked man to have so many bruises on his chest that it looked more blue-ish purple than pink. He also wasn't expecting the male to have an enormous black eyes. But there he was, with Sebastian sprawled on his bed and snoring softly. Simon shook his shoulder. "Sebastian..." He whispered. "Sebastian..." Another time, he shook a little harder. "Sebastian." The other male jolted awake, banging their head together in the process. "Ouch!" Simon brought a hand to his forehead, rubbing it. The blond rolled his eyes, visibly wincing to sit. "You're back, finally." He grunted out, panting heavily because of the pain. Simon nodded. "Have you been waiting for long ?" Sebastian shook his head, whimpering. "What happened to you ?" Simon asked, but the blond's mouth remain wiredly shut. Used to the post-brawl silence treatment thanks to Jace, Simon just went to pick bandages from his nightstand. Seeing the Sebastian raise a curious eyebrow, he rolled his eyes. "If you don't speak, I won't either, just let me take care of it." He spoke, before carefully applying the bandages around the blond's body, from below his peck to his stomach.

 

" _Why if I knew you played nurse Lewis, I would've gotten injured earlier.." Jace's voice resonated in his head, making Simon's jaw clench with bitterness at the memory. Jace had fought for his honor, punching a man in the face and getting attacked by three and relentlessly yelling at Simon not to get involved. Simon had to half-carry him back to the castle, using a secret passageway to his room. He couldn't decently have been seen with a drunk soldier getting back from a tavern he shouldn't even know existed. Jace had giggled and sprawled on the bed, sighing, content and glanced at Simon before saying : "I rrhuu-reee-really want to kissss you but you're drunk and I don't wanna take advantage..." Then yawned and stretched, revealing forming bruises under his wine tainted white shirt. Simon had walked out of the room to Jace's soft snores and returned with bandages for the wound, applying them as delicately as possible._

 

 _"_ You're used to doing this, aren't you ?" Sebastian asked, snapping him out of thoughts. Simon silently nodded. The blond longly looked at him. "I don't think I could ever be who you want me to be Simon..." He spoke softly. "I..." He smiled. "It's been great being almost friend with you, really. But I—" The words were cut by Simon's lips pressing softlyon top of his. The brunet then pulled away. "I'm so sorry I—" Sebastian had reached out for the hem of his shirt and crashed their lips together for a bruising kiss. The blond pulled away this time, grinning. "If you're going to do this, go all in Lewis." Simon bit his bottom lip, smiling shyly. "I'll be on my way before we both do something we could regret..." Sebastian spoke, struggling to stand up. "Wait! Why did you come here in the first place ?" Sebastian half-smiled. "I didn't do it on purpose. I walked inside a passageway because I didn't want Clary to see my at my worse, ended up in your bathroom, forced myself to get rid of the blood and then I saw the room. I recognized it. I decided to wait for you. To explain why I missed our rendezvous..." "Why, you lied earlier ?" Simon asked a little bitter. Sebastian nodded, seeming guilty. "Why don't you explain then ?" Simon asked. Clary's brother shook his head. "I don't really want to talk to you right now." Simon frowned, seemingly offended, making the other male roll his eyes. "I want to shove my tongue down your throat Simon, is that clearer ? But that's a bad idea because you're clinging onto me for all the wrong reasons..." He shook his head. "Don't deny it, it's fine. Being second best is fine. I'm used to it." He shrugged. "Goodbye." With those final words, he was out, leaving Simon wondering.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maia, Izzy and Lydia are an iconic trio.  
> People are haunted by their past.  
> Sebastian is broken but he tries.  
> I'm getting back into the writing scene, let me know what you think ^^

Clary sighed when Sebastian entered her room with a black eye. Used to it, her ladies scattered and were gone within a minute. "What happened ?" She asked, carefully bringing a hand to his cheek. Too close to the black eye apparently because he visibly winced. "I'm sorry..." She mumbled softly, withdrawing her hand, he caught her wrist mid movement, bringing it closer to his face and kissing the palm of it. "You could never hurt me." He spoke, determined, predatory, instinctively squeezing a little too hard as if gripping to keep contact. She swallowed thickly but didn't try to move. He let go within a second, realizing that he could bruise such a delicate skin. "What happened ?" She asked again, bringing the hand to her side. He sighed deeply. "I went to the pub. And there was this man who wouldn't stop smacking the waitress' ass each time she walked past him. After her third yelp, I just..." His jaw clenched. "I lost it." Clary sighed deeply. "He wasn't drinking alone, was he ? Because otherwise you wouldn't be looking like that." Sebastian grinned at the vote of confidence. "Four of them. But you should see their face now..." She shook her head at the proud look on his face. "I don't like it when you get hurt. And you know it." He sighed. "However, I must recognize that at least, this time, you intended to do right." He nodded, seeing the hint of a smile on her lips and promptly reciprocating it. "No, no, no, you're not forgiven yet. I'm still mad. And so will mother be when I tell her." A wounded noise escaped the blond's lips, making his sister chuckle. He couldn't bring himself to even be bothered by it, because it was her. Clary was the sun, he was a planet, gravitating around it, aiming to get as close as possible but knowing he had to remain afar to not completely be consumed. She was his north star in a dark sky.  Only person who tried to see the good before seeing the bad. It took so long to his own mother to realize he wasn't just what his father has raised him to be, that he could do and be good, and each time he lost hope about her ever realizing it, Clary inspired hope in him, healing his blackened heart.

 

•••

 

"What do you think it was this time ?" Maia asked curiously as the ladies walked down the halls to head to the library. "Brawl. Most likely." Lydia answered, a certain boredom in her voice. "A real shame with such a pretty face... I bet I could cut myself slapping one of those cheekbones..." Isabelle sighed dreamily, making Maia growl lowly as she rolled her eyes. "You can do better." She told Izzy who giggled. "Better than a Duke? Have you forgotten my last name ? Or the story with Meliorn ?" Lydia sighed softly. "Please, not again. Izzy, you are worth what you decide to be worth. And no title bestowed on a man by another shall allow one to be considered better than another." Isabelle chuckled, an uncharacteristic bitter edge to it. "No man is different to God, but to other men they are a multitude of different differences." She spoke, sourly, a somber look in her eyes. "Words of my father when he learnt about my affair with Meliorn." Maia sighed, reaching out for the hands Izzy was rubbing together and wrapping her own around them. "Well you know what's great ? You're a woman Isabelle. Not a man. And us, women, have got to stick together for there is no other who understand our pain the same." Isabelle gave a hesitant yet grateful smile. "Thank you."

 

•••

 

"Simon I—" Sebastian jolted up from his seat. He had honestly not been expecting Simon to show up at the library today. But the ferocious gleam in dark orbs that usually were so kind, made the blond pause. "I can explain if you give me the time to—" Hands clutched onto his jacket. "I don't want to talk to you right now. I wanna shove my tongue down your throat. Is that okay with you ?" The shorter male spoke, making the blond's eyes widened. "I... Huh..." He sputtered before finally nodding. Simon kissed him. Hard and experienced, eager to involve the other while still keep a completely control. Simon kissed a way no one would've ever expected him to. In a way that left the both of them breathless and needy. Wetting his lips, Sebastian shook his head. "Dudley probably hates you too now." He spoke, looking past Simon's shoulder to see the librarian peering at them. Simon looked behind him and waved before looking back at the blond. "Only name on the list of the people who may resent me, I'm fairly sure I can handle that." Sebastian chuckled. "You do know that this," He gestured between them. "Us. It cannot mean anything. It would crush Clary's heart. She deeply cares for you. You're a memory of a better time for her Simon, of a missed past she still very much onto. I can't ruin that for her." Simon nodded, expression growing sadder. "I'm bad for you. I'm bad for anyone really. I've got more bruises and scars than love to give, Simon. I can't leave either on you." Simon frowned. "What if I want to get shaken up a little ? What if I want to live, fully, with no restrain, no fear. Like you." Sebastian chuckled at the words. "You really don't want to be me. I have so many fears and insecurities and traumas that pain is all I can understand, all I can truly feel..." Simon cupped the blond's face with a careful hand. "You are so much more than that." He spoke softly before accompanying Sebastian's head with his hand as the blond leaned forward. Simon kissed his forehead and turned away. "I'm not him." The blond's voice reached his ear. Simon turned around, smiling a little. "I know." He replied before turning on his heel and exiting the library. Sebastian chuckled, shaking his head. "No, you really don't..." He sighed, acutely aware that they both clung onto the ghosts of missed people they could see glimpses off in one another. People they knew they shouldn't be missing but still craved for in their bone. Lowering his gaze, the blond's eyes fell shut. He inhaled deeply, forcing himself to remain calm, when his fists itched to collide with any surface. He needed some pain, he needed to ache, he needed for something to hurt. If his father had taught him anything is that the warm feeling that was growing in his heart, would leave him choking and sobbing once it'd be gone. So he had to squash it. As soon as possible. He had to ruin it, to remain broken enough not to be completely ruined.

 

•••

 

" _Simon..." Jace spoke, voice low and raspy as he discreetly penetrated the Prince's chambers through a secret passageway. "Simon, it's me..." He added, grinning wildly. He grew closer to the bed, kicking off his shoes before slowly crawling on it because Simon had the habit to sleep at the center of his ridiculously large bed. Jace was sure that 6 soldiers could fit in there and have a nice rest. He jumped on his best friend, giggling and ended up being elbowed in the stomach as Simon gasped. "Ouch!" The blond rolled to the side. "Jace ?" A glare. "Jace what are you doing here ?" He asked. The soldier could almost hear the faint blush in his friend's voice. "Have you forgotten ?" Simon sighed deeply. "It's late, Jonathan, what do you want ?" Jace rose an eyebrow at the use of his full name. "Jealous of my intimate moment with Kaelie?" "Ar-ar. You wish. No." That cold, distant tone, hurt the blond more than he was willing to admit. "I just want to sleep. Tomorrow is a big day for me." Jace rolled his eyes. "You meet a plausible wife a month, how does it still make you anxious." Simon shrugged. "No idea. It just does. I don't want to do anything that could jeopardize a good union or a strong alliance. There are people out there, who rely on me." Jace grinned, just a bit. Because that was his Simon, mostly worried about others' well-being. He frowned. Not his Simon. Kaelie was his. Simon could never be. He glanced at his friend, who's eyes were falling shut. "Not like that..." He whispered softly. "I could never have you like that..." Rolling to the edge of the bed, Jace stood up, went to retrieve his shoes and left the room._

_"I could never have you like that_..." The soldier sighed softly, looking down at rock with a star carved on it. Simon had called it the Lewis rune of protection specifically designed for Jace. Back when they were seven. "Like what ?" Alec asked, peering down from the bunk right above and raising an inquisitive brow. Jace cleared his throat, blushing a bit. "Nothing." He squeaked out. Alec offered him the tiniest smile, choosing to not press further. Alec didn't seem like the kind that would let go... Jace squinted his eyes but remained silent. After a little while he sighed, thankful for silent cues and Alec's intuitive deductions.


End file.
